honestly being fat was the #1 reason why I was in denial about being gay and put off accepting it for so long. I was aware of the fact I was gay for probably years but I wasn’t able to come to terms with it FOR YEARS because I was disgusted by myself. I was so disgusted with myself that I couldn’t take the disgust I felt at being gay on top of that so I repressed it. My body was (and still is) so repulsive to me that the idea of being in a healthy relationship and feeling worthy of love (as opposed to an emotionless relationship w/ a man) was so entirely alien to me that I repressed it. The only way I was able to accept the fact I was gay was by losing weight. The more weight I lose, the more comfortable with myself and my sexuality I become.
Being in a space that’s supposed to support oppressed groups, a space that constantly strives to decode and challenge systems of inequality-a space that should know better than to accept the rampant hatred of fat people that’s present in basically every form of media that exists-and finding out that people secretly or not so secretly think you’re disgusting is one of the worst feelings in the world. Going into places that are supposed to be safe and realizing that people that look like you aren’t welcome feels like absolute shit. Being part of a community of people like you and realizing that they probably think the same things about your body that you do is devastating, but at this point I never thought to expect anything different.
If you want to support sapphic women, that includes fat women, and you have a DUTY to unlearn the shit you’ve been told that makes you so disgusted by us. You have a duty to include us in your communities. You have a duty to take whatever fucking prejudices you have about fat people and shove them up your ass. You have a duty to represent fat people-to OVERrepresent us to make up for all the years we’ve been ignored and treated like absolute shit. You have a duty to make us feel safe, welcome, beautiful, and loved. You say you care about all sapphic women, so fucking act like it.
