as the Gay Music Commander ive compiled a working list of artists straight people are not allowed to listen to
- panic! at the disco
- troye sivan
- halsey
- sufjan stevens (and his weaker, less evolved counterpart hozier)
- tegan & sara
- my chemical romance (may they rest in peace)
- papa roach
- color theory pioneers walk the moon
- adele
- carly rae jepsen
- country music legend dolly parton
- the killers
- ex-disney icons the jonas brothers
- florence and the machine
- kelly clarkson, inventor of feminism
- marina and the diamonds
- vampire weekend
- 3OH!3, the last known disciples of jesus christ himself
if you are straight, PLEASE respect this list and refrain from listening to artists listed or artists affiliated with those listed. i reserve the right to add and remove artists as i please. thank you for your time
due to the overwhelming response i’d like to make some formal amendments to this list. straight people are now also banned from listening to:
- børns
- kesha, creator of fun
- cobra starship (again, may they rest in peace)
- brand new
- hayley kiyoko, pioneer of neon wlw aesthetics
- ariana grande
- britney spears, the inventor of pop
- years and years
- weezer
- cher (by extension straight people can no longer watch Burlesque (2010, dir. Steven Antin)
thank you for your time! :)
